Deborah Temitope James has shared a deeply emotional account of the pressures she faced early in her marriage, revealing how comparisons, financial strain, and family expectations pushed her into making a dangerous health decision that nearly claimed her life.
Speaking on Talk to B, James explained that she met her husband through business, and although their friendship grew, he was not the partner she originally envisioned. After a previous relationship ended and with rising family pressure to settle down, she accepted his proposal despite concerns about their spiritual compatibility.
She noted that financial struggles heightened the tension between them. Their business had collapsed before the wedding, leaving her husband without income, and she covered most of their wedding expenses while also sustaining the home. Alongside this was her struggle with a fibroid condition, which made conception difficult. She said her husband’s repeated comparisons to other women who had given birth began to affect her mental and emotional stability.
James explained that the constant pressure made her vulnerable and desperate for a quick solution. This led her to pursue an unsafe procedure in hopes of resolving the fibroid issue. She now recognises that the decision stemmed from fear and emotional distress rather than sound medical advice.
Reflecting on the experience, she said: “It almost cost me my life… Pressure was coming from him because every now and then he would tell me things like this one has given birth, that one has given birth. It became a norm. I told him to stop because it was affecting me… I was trying to extract the fibroid, and at that time, he agreed.”
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