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Nigerian singer Tems has opened up about her experience with a toxic relationship, describing her former partner as “obsessive and possessive.”
In a candid conversation with media personality Angie Martinez, the Essence crooner reflected on the challenges of being in a relationship that felt controlling rather than nurturing.
Tems revealed that the relationship was far from what she believes love should be. “I have experienced love where I thought it was love, but it was more like someone trying to own me,” she said.
She stressed that true love is not about possession or obsession. “Love is not about owning another human being. It’s about two people coming together as one without taking ownership of each other,” she explained.
The singer went on to highlight that toxic partners are not always aware of their behavior. “Sometimes, the toxic person doesn’t even realize they’re toxic.
They say they love you, but their actions show otherwise because love cannot exist where someone feels they own the other,” Tems added.
She emphasized that this lack of awareness can make such relationships emotionally draining and confusing, especially when one partner genuinely believes they are in a loving connection.
Tems also reflected on the importance of partnership and mutual respect in a relationship. For her, a healthy bond is one where both individuals support each other and grow together, rather than trying to dominate or control one another.
She believes that understanding these boundaries is essential for maintaining emotional well-being and long-term happiness.
The singer’s openness comes as part of a broader conversation about toxic love and mental health in relationships, particularly within the music industry where pressures and fame can sometimes amplify personal struggles.
Tems has previously shared insights into her career journey, including facing criticism and rejection early on, but she continues to use her platform to shed light on emotional and personal growth.
Fans and observers have praised Tems for speaking candidly about her experiences, noting that it can help others recognize unhealthy patterns in their own relationships.
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