I had an ex-girlfriend I dated for four months in 2021. We never met in person, and the relationship was short-lived, so we moved on. One day, she was viewing my WhatsApp status with her female friend, who found me attractive and asked for my number. My ex told me about it, and I asked her to give her friend my number, which she reluctantly did. Although she wasn’t thrilled about it, she had no choice.
Two weeks into talking with this new girl, I started liking her, and we began dating. Yes, I started dating my ex-girlfriend’s friend. Honestly, I wouldn’t even count my four-month relationship with my ex as “dating”—it was nothing serious. For the sake of this story, I’ll refer to the new girl as my girlfriend.
Red Flags Begin
I noticed my girlfriend went out frequently with her female friends and was always spending money. I often asked where she got her money, as she had no business or source of income to point to. She always claimed her brother sponsored her lifestyle. Who was I to argue?
At the time, I was at my lowest financially. During this period, my ex randomly texted me and claimed my girlfriend didn’t know who was responsible for her pregnancy. I confronted my girlfriend, who denied it, and I believed her. My friends also dismissed my ex’s claims, saying she was jealous and trying to sabotage my relationship.
The first time my girlfriend visited me, she stayed for three days. We vibed well, and I didn’t check her phone because we had just started dating, and she seemed serious about our relationship. The second time she visited, we planned for her to stay longer. That was when I decided to check her phone.
Discovery of Hookups
To my shock, I found chats where she was bargaining prices for hookups. When I confronted her, she begged and claimed she didn’t know those people anymore. I forgave her because I was already in love. I even upgraded to a bigger apartment so she could move in with me.
After she moved in, I had more access to her phone and discovered that all her contacts were male. Her Snapchat and Instagram were filled with chats from guys. Some messages said things like, “Did you enjoy my vibe last night?” or “Hope I did well in bed.” I convinced myself this was her past and chose to ignore it since she now lived with me and seemed committed.
One day, I saw chats with her ex-boyfriend where he revealed he broke up with her because she was doing hookups. I also found a conversation where she told someone she was pregnant, confirming what my ex had told me.
The final straw was a Telegram group chat for hookup girls, where my girlfriend’s picture was posted with a caption: “Available for the night.” These chats were from before she moved in, so again, I told myself it was her past.
The Breaking Point
One day, I found chats where her friend informed her about a man interested in a hookup. After much back and forth, she agreed. When she told me she was going to her sister’s friend’s birthday party, I already knew the truth but played along.
That night, she went out, and I noticed her texts stopped delivering around 10 PM. The next morning, she returned home, and I checked her bank transactions. I saw a deposit of ₦70,000 from the previous night. When I confronted her, she lied again but eventually confessed after I fabricated a story about consulting a spiritualist.
She claimed she needed the money to pay her mom’s rent, despite me sending her mom money earlier that month. I was heartbroken but forgave her after she begged endlessly. However, my trust in her was gone.
Taking a Blood Oath
To regain trust, we decided to take a blood oath. We cut our thumbs and mixed our blood, vowing to stay faithful. I instantly regretted it. I knew it was a sin against God and a reckless decision.
Now, I want to break the oath, but I’m scared of the consequences. Will she go back to her old ways? Can I truly trust her? I don’t know what to do.
Your Advice Is Needed
What do you think I should do? Should I break the oath? Can trust ever return to this relationship?
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